Empath-Taking On The Emotions Of Others

Empathy is something we need more of in this world.  Relating to others, understanding their pain and comforting them.  I’m drawn to people who are sensitive.  I believe in not only asking others how they’re doing but actually listening before moving on.  There is one flaw I run into personally, and that’s being especially sensitive to the emotions of others, internalizing them and taking them on as my own.  This is called being an Empath.

Are you an empath?  Here is a checklist and I fall into every. single. one.

• Sense fear, anxiety and stress from others.  You draw these feelings into your body and mind.

• You quickly feel exhausted, drained and unhappy in crowds.

• Noise, smells and excessive talking can set off your nerves and anxiety.

• You need to be alone to recharge your energy.

• You’re less likely to intellectualize you’re feelings.  Your feelings are hurt easily.

• You’re naturally giving, generous, spiritually inclined and a good listener.

• You tend to ensure that you’ve got an escape plan, so that you can get away fast, such as bringing your own car to events, etc.

• The intimacy of close relationships can feel like suffocation or loss of your own self.

• Seek the permission or approval of others to make decisions, rely on others to determine how you should feel or act.

Wow!  This explains me PERFECTLY!  It causes great stress and anxiety for me, constantly.  I have experienced all of these since I was very young and this means it will take a lot of work for a very long time to change my behavior.  I see a therapist on a regular basis and we are working on many things, including my empath personality.  I am going to list a few things you can do, if you relate, but I am not an expert and I am working on this too.

• Set boundaries by determining what your needs and values are.  What values and priorities are non-negotiable in order to live peacefully (kids, health, spiritual values, etc)?

• Express Your needs to others.  If you need space, tell your loved ones.  Make sure they know why you’re pulling away.  Tell them you just need a minute to decompress.

• Set Limits.  How much can you handle and obey that limit to ensure your mental well-being.  One example in my personal life is when we moved my dad to another town.  It was a long day, lots of people, lots of chaos.  I returned the next day to help unpack.  I didn’t express to my sister that second day that I had exceeded my limit and I was very agitated and had to finally high tail it outta there.  My sister later told me she would have totally understood if I had expressed to her that my limit of stress and anxiety had been met.  That wouldn’t have meant I was not being a help or that I was failing her or my dad, somehow.

• Assert yourself and let others know what you need to be happy and fulfilled.  If you rely on others to determine how you feel or how you should act, you tend to adopt their emotions and reactions.

• Make your own decisions without asking permission of others.  You don’t need the approval of others.  Start with the small decisions and work up to the large ones.

• Recognize people who bring you down and remove yourself from their presence.

• Give yourself physical space when your in public. Sit closer to the edge of the bleacher, sit with your back against the wall.  Don’t sit near the bathroom or where the servers move in and out of the kitchen area.

• Learn to center yourself by concentrating on your breathing.  Try yoga.

• Self Acceptance.  This is the ability to unconditionally value yourself.  Value your good as well as accept those areas you feel you need to work on.  VERY HARD FOR ME.  Shift your focus from judgement and blame to tolerance and compassion.

I know this is a lot to read through but it is SOOOOO worth it.  Print these suggestions out and put them on the mirror or on your refrigerator.  We should all practice the above but those of us who find our empath ways affect our everyday life and decrease our mental wellness really need to take note, remind ourselves of these coping skills every single day until we feel relief.

*huffpost.com