Teen Depression and Suicide-You're Story Isn't Over Yet

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, being a parent is tough!  If you have teenagers in the home, the whole parenting gig gets a little more challenging.  But have you ever thought about how tough it is to be that teenager?  Have you forgotten what it’s like now that you’re older and so many years have passed since you were in high school or entering into the college world?  After talking to a few amazing and brave young adults, I was reminded of the emotional struggles and the daily challenges they face and for many, depression rears its ugly self and creates problems that we parents may not recognize until it’s too late.  If your child was suffering from depression, do you think you would be able to recognize it or would you brush it off as a normal teen phase?

There are some very obvious warning signs that I will list below but the teens I talked to hid it and were known to their peers as outgoing and happy and did not show these obvious signs.  They didn’t tell anyone how miserable they felt because they had no idea how to express these overwhelming feelings of hopelessness and despair and they were also very aware of the stigma that goes along with mental health issues.

I asked a few young adults to watch a documentary called “Not Alone” on Netflix then share their thoughts and personal experiences of high school life, if they or their friends experienced depression and if so, did they recognize warning signs?  I expected to hear about stress, peer drama, family struggles and feeling down sometimes.  I did not expect to hear how serious their depression got and, knowing these kids personally, I was very heartbroken to hear of their thoughts of suicide and in one case, attempting suicide.  This brave young woman shared with me her first thought of suicide and wanting to die was at the age of 8 years old and tried acting on it at the age of 14.

Dealing with difficult family issues at young ages and these issues continuing or getting worse as they got older were common in the testimonies.  Sometimes life circumstances have a huge role in depression, we struggle, we deal with it and we eventually move on without the diagnosis of chronic depression.  With many, depression is a hereditary chemical imbalance and these difficult circumstances are the trigger to the symptoms of that chemical imbalance and this is when depression is chronic and is a lifelong struggle.

Suicide in teens and young adults are on the rise at an alarming rate so I’d like to share some statistics, some warning signs of teen depression being they are different than adult warning signs, some ways you can try to decipher if its normal teen behavior or if it’s truly depression, signs of suicide risk and some suggestions on what you can do to help your teen.

• Suicide is the SECOND leading cause of death for ages 10-24

• Four out of five teens who attempt suicide have given clear warning signs

• Each day in our nation, there are an average of almost 3,500 attempts by young people grades 9-12.  This does not include suicide attempts by 7th and 8th graders, which, tragically, suicide is on the rise for that age group.  This also does not include the number of suicide attempts that end in death.

Depression Warning Signs in Teens:

• Problems at School – low energy and problems with concentration

• Running away – actually running away or talking about running away

• Drug/Alcohol Abuse – self medicating

• Low Self Esteem – talking about being ugly, shameful, feeling like a failure, feeling unworthy

• Smartphone Addiction – escaping from problems

• Reckless Behavior – binge drinking, unsafe sex, etc.

• Violence – aggressive behavior, mostly seen in boys but girls can show these signs as well

• Eating Disorders/Self Injury-Cutting

• Unexplained Aches and Pains

• Withdrawal from Family and Friends

• Changes in Sleeping Habits

• Thoughts of Death and Suicide

• Unrelenting unhappiness, lethargy or irritablility

Here are some questions to ask yourself when trying to decide if your teen is going through the normal teen phases or if their might be a problem that needs to be addressed:

• How long have the symptoms been going on? A solid 2 weeks or more may indicate a problem.

• How severe are the symptoms or changes?

• How different is your teen from their usual self

Follow your gut.  As a parent, you know your child better than anyone.

Suicide Warnings:

• Talking or joking about suicide

• Saying things like “I’d be better off dead” and “There’s no way out”

• Writing stories or poems about death and/or suicide

• Reckless behavior

• Giving away possessions

• Saying goodbye to friends and family

• Seeking out weapons or pills

What can you do if you suspect your teen is depressed?

• Focus on listening, not lecturing

• Be gentle but persistent

• Acknowledge their feelings

• Trust your gut

• Counseling (individual, family or both)  Medication may be prescribed.

I want to thank my brave friends for sharing their very personal stories with me.  I hope this helps someone out there.  My heart breaks every single time I hear of a suicide.  I can tell you first hand, when someone attempts to take their own life, they feel it will never get better and escaping the horrible depression will never happen.  Depression warps their thinking and they believe that everyone would be better off without them and that they are a burden.

For free and confidential support, you can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.