The Empty Chair at the Table

It’s that time of year where parents have sent their babies off to college a little over a month ago and the reality of it all has sank in.  I have talked to many friends or have read many posts on social media about the mixed emotions of excitement, pride and have witnessed the tears because as parents, we miss and worry about our kids no matter how old they are.   The empty chair at the dinner table, one less voice in the perfect chaos at night and one less hug before bed is very hard to get used to.

I have two out of the house now and two at home.  My daughter is out on her own, working and keeping up with a home of her own.  She lives in my town so I can stop by and see her when I want but….that empty chair at my dining room table, it’s like an elephant in the room.

My oldest is in the Army and will be leaving for Kuwait in 3 weeks.  I haven’t seen or hugged him since March and it is currently September.  I am leaving for Texas in a couple weeks to spend a weekend with him and spend time with him before he deploys.  I have no clue when I will see him next.

I was talking to a friend of mine last night and she was talking about listening to Christmas music and as tears filled her beautiful eyes, she spoke of how she can’t listen to the Christmas song “I’ll be home for Christmas” because she may not see her son on Christmas as he is possibly leaving the state.  I wanted to swoop her into my arms and tell her how much I feel her pain….but at a middle school football game, two moms sobbing probably would not have been a festive sight!

I will not see my son on Christmas.  I won’t be with him on December 15th to celebrate his 21st birthday.  I will be here, in the U.S. while he is in Kuwait, worrying about him.  Is he safe? Is he homesick? Is he mentally adjusting to life without family around, in a different country? Is he eating enough?  Though, he is almost 21 years old, I can’t help but still see him as my baby boy.  I am not sure how NOT to worry.

I know I am not the only one that feels this way.  All you parents with kids in college or maybe your child chose a different route and chose not to go to college but they have moved out to start a life of their own….they are not home with you.  You have that chair at your table that is empty.  I am so thankful for technology like Face time and Video Chat.  Once my son gets to Kuwait, I am really hoping we can still communicate through the video technology we currently use to ease the pain a bit.

I am not the first, nor will I be the last mom to feel I will burst into tears at any moment because I miss my child.  But it’s easy to feel alone with my tears.  My pride in my children keep me going.   They are moving into adulthood, taking on responsibility, learning new things, learning lessons the hard way, taking pride in their accomplishments, working hard so that they may afford the things they want and need and hopefully, they are proud of themselves and stay safe and live a life full of happy moments.  I am sending a virtual hug to all the parents out there.   I know you are missing your kiddos!  I want to congratulate you on a job well done!  Many blessings to your and your family!