Where Did the Care Go?

I don’t think I’m the only person who has noticed the lack of empathy youth and adults alike are showing each other these days.  We have all heard the sad stories of kids spewing hatred towards one another, relentlessly telling the victim to kill themselves, telling them how worthless they are and reminding the victim of their flaws or creating flaws that don’t exist and pounding those lies into the the child’s head over and over again until they believe these lies are truth.

A friend posted the following on Facebook a couple of days ago.  The following situation occurred in her town, only a couple hours from where I live.  I cried when I read it.

Today is World Mental Health Day.

To the teens I know and don’t:Just yesterday, at the bridge by the high school in (her town), a young woman stood over highway 61 trying to decide if she was going to jump. It sickens me to hear today that there were people videoing this young woman -a fellow student… someone’s daughter, someone’s granddaughter, someone’s sister or friend- and laughing at her, taunting her, telling her to jump and do a flip in the air. I’m trembling as I write this, and I beg you, teenagers, to never ignore or taunt someone who is contemplating suicide. You have no idea what is going on with them and that they need your help and support. Take it seriously. Tell someone. Find a trusted adult and share what you’ve heard.

The fire department was able to stop her from jumping. I hope she’s getting help. I hope she knows she is treasured and needed on this earth.

Adults are no better.  

Reading this Broke. My. Heart.  She is speaking the absolute truth when she says adults are no better.  I’ve witnessed videos of disturbing situations playing out on social media.  I saw these events because someone chose to record it rather than help.  I have unfollowed SO MANY PEOPLE on social media, friends AND family, because they post hateful opinions, non-stop.  Their opinions are truth to them and they don’t care if what they are putting out there for the whole world to see are JUST OPINIONS.

Road rage..Black Friday..giving a mom a dirty look or throwing out rude comments in the check out isle at Wal-Mart because her child hasn’t had a nap, mom is hanging on by a thin little thread while said child screams at a pitch all dogs in a 5 mile radius start howling in response…..these are great example of situations that you will see the ugliness in people.

When I pull up news stories or articles, I see comments like “you/they don’t deserve to live”, “you/they are racist, worthless, scum….”.  It’s so easy to type these words behind a computer screen, safely tucked away behind closed doors, but would they feel comfortable saying these things to someone’s face…Yep.  These days, absolutely.

I read an article on the Psychology Today website that lists reasons why youth are disconnected and lacking empathy.  I feel this article could’ve been written for adults too so I’ve switched the wording up a little to include all of us.

According to this article,due to the amount of screen time, cognitive understanding is at an all-time high, while empathy is at an all-time low.  We experience information overload from social media and texts and receive roughly 1,000 messages a day…too much information.

Kids need to witness and experience consequences and I feel adults need to as well.  We are watching tv shows and playing video games that show people shooting each other or stealing and they get off easy for the crime or they get away with it all together. We all see so many disturbing videos on social media, we become numb.

The suggestions this article offers are directed to help kids become emotionally connected and as I read through them I felt adults should take the advice along with their kids.

• We all need to balance screen time with face-to-face time

• when a child fails, be sure they FEEL the consequences and talk over the long term, un-intended price tag of failure (adults can do this as well).

• We need to experience poverty and disease by going to or helping out in a homeless shelter or a cancer ward .  Random acts of kindness without telling anyone what you did, include your children in these moments. This helps us appreciate what we have and it feels so good to help others.

• Be a role model.  I feel we can be a role model to kids AND adults. If we are bullies at home, we will send bullies out into the world.  When problems arise….and they always will…our kids are watching how we handle them.  We can act as if the world has stopped turning or we can find the good and face the problem head on.  Your friends and peers are watching too.  Be an inspiration.

I didn’t write all of this to bring anyone down or discourage.  I felt I needed to write this after reading my friends post.  Suicide rates are at an all time high.  There are approximately 123 suicides per day.  The solution begins with adults changing their attitudes and behaviors.  Our kids are watching closely, they want consequences and boundaries, we are their parents first, not their friend.  If you have read any of my previous posts you know my favorite motto: Be kind to one another.  You don’t know what they are dealing with behind closed doors.  Give the mom in the Wal Mart check out isle and understanding smile.